Our Journey

This summer we went to the pool nearly every day. It wasn’t just putting on swim suits, grabbing a towel and heading to the pool. No, we had to pack snacks and juice boxes, make sure the dive sticks and Carter’s favorite toys were in the wagon, help Claire Marin find her goggles, put on sun screen, and get sunglasses and a book that I would never read. We would usually remember the right number of towels, get it all in the wagon, start down the driveway and then I’d remember I had forgotten the key or my cell phone.

Once we arrived, there was a equal amount of time spend unloading, putting the phone where I could here it but where it wouldn’t get wet. Finding shade for the cold drinks. Unloading the towels so that we could find the toys in the bottom of the wagon…

Then I was always tempted to sit in a lounge chair in my cover up and hat, encouraging Carter to play in the baby pool by himself and promise Claire I would get in later to play. All the preparation and I didn’t even want to do the thing we had prepared to do – swim in the pool!

What does this have to do with Malawi? It seems that our life to this point has been a lot of preparations. We have gotten educations, bought a house and the necessary things to fill it. We have purchased cars and toys. We have gotten jobs and volunteered. All these things are as necessary as sunglasses and sunscreen at the pool. But I’m wondering if all the preparations for life have taken the place of life.

As we slowly, but intentionally, trim things from our life I’m beginning to feel as self-conscious as standing at the edge of the pool in nothing but my swim suit. I enjoyed the Food Network as much as that cute swimsuit cover-up. And I needed the YMCA membership as much as I needed the fantastic Athleta swim suit. As I give away and sell the furniture and stuff in my house, I am as self-conscious as when I remember the cellulite on my thighs. I feel as vulnerable and exhilerated as that moment when I commit to jumping into that cold and refreshing water.

The snacks and the toys certainly come in handy at the pool. But my most precious memories are holding Carter and blowing bubbles or watching Claire Marin jump off Jeff’s shoulders into the deep end. The pool is the thing – the swimming and splashing and floating in the water. And maybe that’s what God will teach us in the coming months. It’s not the house, or the car, or the gym membership or (deep breath) even the beautiful jewelry. It’s the living, the loving, the serving.

As the stuff disappears from our life, we are naturally more drawn to focus on what remains and what is constant. In many ways I feel lighter and freer already. But I’m also realizing how insulated and comfortable all those things kept me within the life that I claim to want to live. So I sit hear today wondering how long it will take to feel comfortable walking around in nothing but a swim suit!