After 60 long days of anxiety over the house, we have accepted an offer and we close on May 14 (12 days). We received the house inspection report and other than a few small items to fix, it is looking like this is really going to happen.
The moment we received the first offer, I felt an immediate sense of both relief and deep sadness. In that moment I felt as if God had torn down a wall. But when the dust settled what stood before me was shocking. Now I have to say goodbye. In 12 days we say goodbye to the house. In 60 days I say goodbye to my job and my career as I’ve come to know it. And all along the way, I will say goodbye to many friends, family, experiences, and places. All that is familiar, all that is comfortable, all that we’ve convinced ourselves we control – gone.
I am sad and a little guilty about the kids too. As non-voting members of this journey, I feel a heightened sense of emotion because of all we are asking of them. I worry about how I will be able to support them through so many radical changes when I myself am struggling. My prayer is that our common experience and feelings might help us all relate and draw closer.
Nothing could have prepared me for this.
Of course, I am also excited to be so close to living a new life a world away. I remain absolutely confident that this is our call, though I am anxious because I do not know what this new life means for me, for us, for the future. I am also certain the kids will take our move in stride — probably better than me at times — and come to thrive in their new environment.
This is where I am right now. Bear with me.
